Hula Hotties Pave the Way

So things are heating up for the trip.  I have polished my wee clown shoes and doled out just enough hair product to make it through the trip.  The only thing missing are some wee sunglasses.

I intend to have a lot of fun on the trip.  I hope Jerry takes me to a club so I can meet some exotic dancers.  I have already been practicing.

I found these hula hotties the other night and man, did they wear me out!  It was the first time I had ever had TWO girls (if you get my drift).  And yes, that is a picture of me with my hand on a hula hottie’s grassy ass.   But I have to be fair.  Just like sister wives, hula hotties need a fair amount of attention.  I’m not going to tell you what I did with the other one.  That’s for later.

I hope we have fun at the border checks too.  Those big nasty border patrol guys are always surprised to see me seat belted in the back seat.  Instead of staring, they should be grateful that I am obeying the damn law!

Heinous Plans to Pack

I can see that some people still make fun of me no matter what I do.  I wasn’t kidding about living with my relatives in Omaha.  In fact, I am going to the Salvation Army store today to seek out a wee travel bag for myself.  When nobody is looking, I am going to get online and book a ticket.  I will leave as soon as possible.

Except…..I don’t want to miss the geocaching adventure tomorrow.  On second thought, this can wait a week.

Clown Family in Omaha

I am trying to keep my head on straight about something, but certain people in this world are determined to paint me as evil and mean-spirited.  I cannot help the fact that I have orange synthetic hair and my eyes don’t blink.  I didn’t ask to be born!   If you continue to bash me like this, I will most definitely go to Omaha and live my clown relatives there. 

 They all work in a church and they love God.